Toddler Waking at Night: Causes and a Calm Plan

Is it normal?

• Yes. Everyone wakes briefly several times a night between sleep cycles. Toddlers who call out are usually the ones who haven't yet learned to drift back off on their own, or who are uncomfortable, scared or simply used to company.
• Many toddlers wake now and then through age 3 and beyond. It's a problem only if it's wearing out your family.

Common causes to check first

• Too little daytime sleep, or a late bedtime. Overtired toddlers often wake more.
• Too much daytime sleep, or a nap ending late in the afternoon.
• Hunger or thirst if dinner was early or small. A bedtime snack can help.
• Discomfort: molars, a cold, eczema itch, a wet diaper, a too-warm or too-cold room.
• Nightmares (more common from about age 2) or night terrors; see the nightmares and night terrors guide.
• Big changes: a new sibling, new childcare, a move, a parent traveling or switching shifts.
• Sleep associations: if a child falls asleep being rocked, fed or with a parent lying down, they may need the same thing to get back to sleep.

A calm plan

1. Wait a moment. Some toddlers settle within a minute or two on their own.
2. Go in briefly and keep it dull. Low light, a quiet voice, the same short phrase each time: "It's sleep time. I'm here. Night night."
3. Meet real needs (a sip of water, a dry diaper, a cuddle after a bad dream) without turning it into playtime.
4. Work on falling asleep at bedtime. The skills a child uses at bedtime are the ones they use at 2 a.m. If they can fall asleep in the bed drowsy but awake, night waking often eases.
5. Choose an approach you can stick with for at least a week or two. Options range from staying in the room and gradually moving out, to timed check-ins. See sleep approaches compared.

Toddlers who come to your bed

• Families make different choices here, and many cultures share sleep with children. If it works for you, that's fine for a toddler over 1.
• If you want them in their own bed, walk them back calmly every time, with as little talk as possible. Consistency is what works.
• A toddler clock that changes color in the morning can help older toddlers understand when it's time to get up.

Night feeds and bottles

• Most toddlers don't need to eat at night. Phasing out a night bottle or nursing can reduce wakings; cut the amount or time down gradually over a week or two.
• Don't put a toddler to bed with milk or juice in a bottle or cup; it raises the risk of tooth decay. Water is fine.

When to check in

• Mention it at the next checkup if your child snores loudly most nights, gasps or pauses breathing, or is very sleepy or irritable during the day.
• Also check in if waking comes with ear pain, fever, frequent itching, or if you're exhausted and need help making a plan.