Toddler Hates the Bath: Easing Fears and Hair-Washing

Why some toddlers suddenly hate the bath

• Fear: of the drain, of slipping, of water on their face, of the noise of the tub emptying. Fears like these are common around 18 months to 3 years as imagination grows.
• A bad memory: soap in the eyes, a slip, water too hot or too cold.
• Control: it's a transition away from play, and toddlers often resist any transition.
• Sensory sensitivity: some children find hair-washing or the feel of wet skin truly unpleasant.

How often they really need one

• Toddlers don't need a full bath every day. Two or three times a week is plenty for many, more if they're grimy. Wipe faces, hands and the diaper area daily.
• Fewer baths can help children with eczema, too. See the diaper rash and baby eczema guide.

Making it easier

1. Give warning and a reason to come: "Bath after this tower. Your boats are waiting."
2. Let them help: test the water with their hand, pour in the bubbles, choose two tub toys.
3. Try a different format: a shower with you, a bath with a sibling, a small tub inside the big one, or a sponge bath standing on a towel.
4. Drain worries: let them out before you pull the plug, and explain "you're too big to fit down the drain."
5. Make it play: cups, funnels, sponges, bath crayons, washing a doll.
6. Keep it short if they're unhappy. Two minutes of washing is a success.

Hair-washing without tears

• Lay them back in your arm, or have them look up at a sticker on the ceiling.
• Pour water with a cup with your hand shielding their forehead, or use a washcloth to wipe rather than pour.
• Let them hold a dry washcloth over their eyes.
• Give a count: "Three pours, then done," and keep your word.
• Children with tightly curled or coily hair often do best with less-frequent washing, plenty of conditioner, and detangling in sections; follow your family's hair-care traditions.

Safety, always

• Never leave a toddler alone in or near the bath, even for a few seconds. Children can drown silently in a couple of inches of water. Gather everything first; take the child with you if you have to answer the door.
• Bath seats and rings are not safety devices.
• Set your water heater to 120°F (49°C) or lower, and test the water with your wrist or elbow; it should feel warm, not hot, around 100°F (38°C).
• Use a non-slip mat, and keep razors, medicines and electrical devices out of reach.
• Empty the tub right after bath. See the water and outdoor safety guide.

When to check in

• Mention it at the next checkup if bath fear is extreme and lasting, or is part of a wider pattern of strong reactions to touch, water, noise or clothing.
• If a child is pulled from the water and is not breathing normally, call 911 and start CPR.