How to Stop Breastfeeding Gently, at Any Age

There's no wrong age

The AAP and WHO suggest about 6 months of only breast milk, then breastfeeding alongside solid foods for 2 years or beyond, for as long as parent and child both want. Families wean at 3 months, at 1 year and at 4 years, for work, health, a new pregnancy, or because they're ready. Any amount of breastfeeding counts.

What replaces the milk

• Under 12 months: formula or expressed milk. Cow's milk isn't suitable as a main drink yet.
• After 12 months: food, water, and whole cow's milk or fortified soy milk if you choose (see the guide to cow's milk and plant milks after one).
• Babies under 6 months may take a bottle; older babies can go straight to an open or straw cup.

The gradual way (easiest on everyone)

1. Drop one feed every 3-7 days. Start with the one your child cares least about, often midday.
2. Replace it with a bottle or cup, a snack, or a new activity at that time.
3. Keep the morning and bedtime feeds for last. They're usually the most important to your child.
4. Watch your own body: if you feel full, hand express just enough to be comfortable.

Toddler techniques

• Don't offer, don't refuse: nurse when asked, but stop offering.
• Shorten feeds: nurse for a short song, then move on.
• Postpone: "after we get dressed" or "when we get home."
• Change routines: a different chair, a partner doing bedtime, getting out early in the morning.
• Set limits your child can understand: "milk is for home" or "milk sleeps when it's dark."
• Offer extra cuddles, books and attention. Weaning is a change in closeness, not an end to it.

Weaning faster or suddenly

Sometimes weaning has to happen quickly. Most medicines are compatible with breastfeeding, so check with your clinician or a pharmacist before stopping because of a prescription. If you must stop: - Hand express or pump for comfort only, a little less each day. - Use cold packs and a supportive, not tight, bra. - Avoid binding, which raises the risk of clogs and mastitis.

Nursing while pregnant

Breastfeeding usually can continue in a healthy pregnancy. Supply often drops and milk taste changes mid-pregnancy, and some toddlers wean then. Ask your prenatal clinician if you have a history of preterm labor or other risk.

Your feelings after weaning

The drop in hormones can bring sadness, irritability or anxiety for a few weeks, even when weaning was your choice. Mixed feelings, relief and grief together, are common.

When to check in

• See an IBCLC for a weaning plan, or if a child under 12 months refuses every alternative.
• See your clinician for a lump that doesn't clear in a few days, or a hot, red breast with fever.
• If low mood or anxiety lasts beyond a couple of weeks, talk to your clinician, or call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-852-6262.