Cry It Out and Graduated Check-Ins: How They Work, Step by Step

What these methods are

• Graduated extinction (often called the Ferber method or "check and console"): you leave the room at bedtime and come back for brief, calm check-ins at gradually longer intervals.
• Full extinction ("cry it out"): after the routine you leave and don't return until a set morning time, except to feed if a night feed is still planned or to deal with illness or safety.
• Both usually work faster than gentle methods, often within 3 to 7 nights, with more crying at first.

What research says

• Studies of graduated and full extinction show they help many babies fall asleep and stay asleep, and often improve parents' mood.
• A trial that followed children to age 6 found no differences in emotional health, behavior, stress or the parent-child bond compared with families who didn't sleep train.
• No method is required. Choose one your family can carry out consistently, or none at all (see the sleep approaches compared and gentle sleep training guides).

Before you start

• Usually from about 6 months, when the baby is healthy and growing well. Check with the pediatrician about night feeds.
• Choose a calm few weeks. Get every caregiver to agree, including the one who wakes up at 2 am.
• Safe sleep doesn't change: on the back, in a bare crib, in a sleep sack.

Graduated check-ins, step by step

1. Do the bedtime routine, then put the baby in the crib drowsy but awake. Say goodnight and leave.
2. If they cry, wait a set time, then go in for a minute or two. Use a calm voice and a pat, without picking up, feeding or turning on lights. Then leave, even if they're still crying.
3. Lengthen the waits. A common pattern:
4. Night 1: 3, then 5, then 10 minutes, then every 10 minutes.
5. Night 2: 5, 10, then every 12 minutes.
6. Night 3: 10, 12, then every 15 minutes.
7. Continue adding a few minutes each night.
8. Use the same pattern for night wakings, unless it's a planned feed.
9. Pick shorter intervals if they feel better to you. Consistency matters more than the exact numbers.

Full extinction, step by step

1. Same routine and goodnight. Leave and don't return until the agreed time.
2. Go in only for a planned feed, vomiting, illness, a dirty diaper that needs changing, or a safety concern, then settle briefly and leave.

What to expect

• The first one or two nights are usually hardest. Crying often drops sharply by night 3 or 4.
• An extinction burst is common: a night of more crying just as things improve. Stay the course.
• Some babies vomit from crying. Clean up calmly with minimal fuss, then continue.

Common mistakes

• Giving in after a long cry, which teaches that longer crying works.
• Inconsistency between caregivers or between nights and naps.

When to check in

• Talk with the pediatrician before starting if your baby was born early, has reflux, a medical condition or slow weight gain.
• Mention it if crying doesn't ease after about 1 to 2 weeks, or if your baby seems unwell.