# Stillbirth and Infant Loss: Care, Choices and Grief > Gentle guidance after a stillbirth or the death of a baby: time with your baby, tests, your body, grief and support. Stage: family - Topic: For parents - Page: https://www.askcladle.com/guides/parents/stillbirth-and-infant-loss Grounded in: ACOG guidance on management of stillbirth, CDC information on stillbirth, AAP guidance on supporting families after the death of a child, and Postpartum Support International resources on pregnancy and infant loss. Summarized in Cradle's own words; none of these sources endorse Cradle. General information, not medical advice. If you're reading this because your baby has died, we're so sorry. There's no right way to do any of this. Take what helps and leave the rest. Reviewed: 2026-11 ## TLDR - A stillbirth or infant death is almost never because of something a parent did or didn't do. - Seeing, holding, naming your baby and keeping mementos is your choice; tests can look for a cause, and your body still needs postpartum care. - Grief comes in waves; loss support groups help. Call the Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-852-6262, or 988 if you're thinking of ending your life. ## What these words mean - A stillbirth is when a baby dies in the womb at 20 weeks of pregnancy or later. In the U.S. about 1 in 175 births ends this way. Loss before 20 weeks is called a miscarriage. - Infant loss includes a baby who dies after birth, in the NICU, or later in the first year, including sudden unexpected infant death. - Often no clear cause is found. It is almost never because of something a parent did or didn't do. ## Time with your baby - Many families find it helps to see, hold, name and spend time with their baby, but it's your choice, and you can change your mind. - You can ask for photographs, handprints and footprints, a lock of hair, the hospital bracelet and a memory box. Some volunteer photographers specialize in this. - Siblings, grandparents and others can meet the baby if you wish. Faith or cultural rituals, such as a blessing or washing, can usually be arranged. ## Tests and paperwork - You'll be offered tests to look for a cause: an autopsy, an exam of the placenta, genetic testing and blood tests. Even partial answers can help with planning a future pregnancy. - Ask the hospital's social worker or bereavement team about certificates, funeral or cremation options, and costs. Many states offer a certificate of birth for a stillborn baby. ## Your body afterwards - You'll need postpartum care like anyone who has given birth: bleeding, stitches or a C-section wound all need time (see the postpartum recovery guide). - Milk often comes in after the birth, which can be very painful emotionally. Options include a snug, supportive bra, cold packs, and expressing just enough for comfort while supply fades. Some parents choose to pump and donate milk to a milk bank. Ask your provider about other options. ## Grief - Grief comes in waves: shock, numbness, anger, guilt, longing. It doesn't follow a timetable. - Partners often grieve differently, one wanting to talk and one wanting to keep busy. Neither is wrong. Be patient with each other. - Talk to older children simply and honestly ("the baby died; their body stopped working"), and avoid saying the baby is sleeping, which can scare them. - Friends and family: say the baby's name and remember the due date and anniversaries. ## Support - Hospital bereavement teams, local loss groups and Postpartum Support International's loss support groups connect you with parents who understand. - Grief counselors who specialize in pregnancy and infant loss can help. ## A future pregnancy Many families do go on to have another baby. It's often an anxious time; ask for extra visits and reassurance scans, and plan support early. ## When to check in - See your provider for your postpartum checkup even if it feels hard; you can ask for a quiet waiting area. - Get support if you can't eat, sleep or function for weeks, or grief turns into hopelessness. The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline is 1-833-852-6262. - If you're thinking of ending your life, call or text 988, or call 911.